Putting the “Counsel” Back in “College Counselor”
Lucas Frankel, Shady Side Academy
April 16, 2025
22. That’s how many seniors cried in my office from September through October; 22 students in roughly 40 school days. Each instance was for a different reason, but the college process was at the core of their emotions.
As college counselors, our title has two separate but equally important words: “college” and “counselor.” The “college” part is easier; it's something that we can learn. “Counselor” is more challenging. Counseling requires empathy, active listening, and strength. We are asked to take on the responsibility of a parent, therapist, or peer, even though we are none of these to our students, but there are ways we can still help as “counselors.”
What does being a “counselor” require? German philosopher Lisa Herzog writes about our moral duties within our jobs. She uses the example that a doctor might be required to help in an emergency, even when not on duty. She goes on to write, “In societies with divided labor, it matters that individuals take seriously the moral roles that underlie their occupational roles. Role obligations are the way in which our societies allocate the responsibility for many tasks, and they are vital for their proper functioning.” So what social task is college counseling meant to perform?
One concern I hear regularly from my students is fear of the unknown. As is the worry about being judged by a strange gatekeeper of their future; all of their accomplishments put onto a few sheets of paper, and then quietly reviewed for a few short minutes. However, I think the answer is much more complicated: their stress comes from their imagination. Specifically, stress originates from how seniors imagine different versions of themselves throughout time. I believe it is our duty to give our students back this power, to help them see themselves for who they truly are – not who they believe themselves to be based on the college process.
Last fall at NACAC, while presenting “Below the Water’s Edge: A Reflective Deep Dive to Aid Students’ Supplemental Essay Writing,” I felt immense hope as I witnessed the enthusiastic nods from attendees. We know that many selective and highly selective institutions in the United States emphasize holistic review in their admissions process. A student’s ability to engage in diverse communities has become an increasingly prized attribute. Just as grades are a strong predictor of future academic success, a student’s capacity to thrive in diverse environments is best conveyed by how effectively they articulate their unique perspectives and backgrounds during the application process. 
Most of us wear many hats at our respective institutions. We can easily lose focus on what is in front of us–the ebbs and flows in our work often cause our attention to shift. Admittedly, I do. After all, I’m human, not perfect and not always successful at giving everyone my undivided attention. So, as I make a concerted effort (New Year, New Me-insert eye roll) to become a better listener, more effective professional, and, in turn, a better College Counselor and friend, I offer a few things that I’m putting into practice as a way to help someone else, too. That someone else might just be you.
